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In the initial therapy session, new clients often ask, “What should I do?” They seek help for a variety of issues such as relationship problems, addiction, and mental health challenges like anxiety. However, beneath these challenges lies a common theme of indecision, feeling stuck, and lacking clarity about the way forward.

Making decisions can be a daunting task. The complexity of weighing conflicting thoughts, emotions, and external expectations can lead to sleepless nights when facing romantic dilemmas or financial crises. In a society that often looks for quick solutions, the prevalent advice is to trust instincts as a shortcut to alleviate uncertainties.

In today’s culture, phrases like “trust your gut” and “be yourself” are commonly promoted, particularly on social media where influencers advocate following emotions, especially in relationships. However, blind trust in instincts can lead to impulsive decisions that may not serve one’s best interests. It’s crucial to discern between instinctual decisions and impulsive reactions.

Research indicates that some individuals have a higher tendency towards neuroticism, experiencing negative emotions like anxiety more intensely and frequently. While this trait may have been advantageous in our past, where threats were constant, its utility in a safer modern world is debatable. Addressing whether individuals should trust their anxiety or critically assess it is crucial.

Psychoanalytic thinkers caution against blindly following initial gut reactions. Concepts like defense mechanisms highlight how our immediate responses, shaped by past experiences, may now hinder personal growth. For instance, behaviors developed as coping mechanisms in challenging environments may no longer serve a positive purpose in current situations.

Therapeutic approaches like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) encourage individuals to examine their emotional responses, evaluate their compatibility with reality, and act counter to their emotions if necessary. This highlights the importance of being flexible in responses and not always relying on instincts.

While instincts are the brain’s way of guiding actions based on available information, they can be influenced by unresolved trauma, limited life experience, or emotional immaturity. Through introspection and experimentation, individuals can refine their intuitions over time, distinguishing between helpful instincts and past baggage.

Just as weighing scales need calibration for accuracy, our minds require ongoing adjustment and feedback. Stepping out of comfort zones, testing emotions against reality, and seeking feedback are ways to calibrate gut feelings. By learning to trust our refined instincts, we can make better decisions in navigating life’s complexities.

Dr. Alex Curmi, a psychiatrist and psychotherapist in training, emphasizes the importance of honing intuitive skills through self-reflection and learning. By following this path, individuals can overcome social anxiety, establish meaningful relationships, or pursue new ventures confidently.

Ultimately, trusting one’s gut is valuable, but only after careful evaluation and calibration of instincts. By understanding the origins of our gut reactions and continuously refining them, individuals can make informed decisions aligned with their goals and well-being.