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Even feminist men can struggle with female proposals, study suggests


“Study: Even feminist men struggle with accepting female proposals”


In 2021, more babies in England and Wales were born to unmarried parents. Research shows women who propose face judgment but find support online.

Times are changing, and so are traditional marriage norms. Recent data from England and Wales show a significant shift in family dynamics, with more babies now being born to unmarried parents rather than married ones. Additionally, modern women are increasingly opting to keep their own surnames after tying the knot. However, despite these changes, the act of proposing in a relationship is still predominantly seen as the man’s responsibility.

Even so, there are daring women who take matters into their own hands and decide to propose to their male partners. A research study delved into this phenomenon, interviewing 21 women who had taken the bold step of proposing and examining social media dialogues on the subject. The majority of these women reported positive experiences, with one instance of rejection and another where the partner took credit for the proposal.

The study highlighted a poignant case where a woman proposed to her partner under the impression that he, being a feminist, would appreciate it. However, his subsequent behavior revealed underlying discomfort, leading to the relationship’s demise. This demonstrates the challenges women face when breaking the norms of traditional proposal rituals.

While these women found support from close circles, they also faced criticism and negative judgments. Some were accused of emasculating their partners or ruining the magical essence of a proposal by taking the initiative themselves. This societal pressure to adhere to conventional gender roles was exemplified by one participant’s mother, who urged her to wait for her partner to propose for the sake of tradition and symbolism.

Despite the pushback, these women found joy and creativity in subverting traditional proposal customs. From proposing with a homemade pizza inscribed with “marry me” to using unconventional silicone rings, these women embraced playfulness and uniqueness in their proposals. By deviating from the standard script, they challenged societal norms and celebrated their agency in shaping their own love stories.

While the lack of role models in mainstream culture may deter some women from proposing, online communities have become a valuable space for sharing ideas and garnering support. These digital platforms provide a sense of solidarity for women seeking to challenge outdated gender expectations in relationships.

Ultimately, women who choose to propose do so out of a desire for gender equality and agency in their relationships. However, societal pressures and ingrained stereotypes often overshadow their efforts, highlighting the persistent influence of sexist conventions in marriage rituals.


Published on: 2025-03-14 22:00:00 | Author: Daniela Pirani, Ratna Khanijou, and Vera Hoelscher

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